Oh holy shit Windy! You really have been to hell and back.

First, I must apologise for the very tardy reply. Things have been a bit busier than usual in the forums, and worse, I'm having problems with my connectivity meaning I frequently loose it. The problems stem from a new cable hub (necessitated, alas, by the switch to digital phone lines - i.e. via IP - and gigabit+ broadband!) that won't let me boot with my VPN (inc. Permanent Killswitch), or even to connect after boot. Fortunately, I have found a way around that - boot with the cable to the hub plugged out, temporarily drop Killswitch, then connect the hub again, connect VPN and then re-enable P. Killswitch. But 'peace' does not last, connection drops frequently and I have to start all over again, and sometimes the hub goes dead leaving me without any connectivity or telephone for in some instances quite some time. PITA. Hoping to get it sorted this week at last. But enough of my little problems.

Windy I am absolutely horrified by your tale of woes with the medics - it is truly shocking! (And I don't mean descriptions of natural functions, nothing fazes me in that respect. And I can well empathise with the pain and discomfort the constipation must have caused, and the subsequent relief post-evacuation. I struggle with it myself quite often due to my medication, albeit not as extreme.) This whole tale has had me in tears, to be honest. Those medics should not be in the profession! In fact, I feel sorely tempted to say they should be shot, sorry.

However, I am completely in awe of your actions and determination. You are a truly wonderful human being. And your dear lady mother, so strong, tough, determined and resilient - I really do hope she'll make as full a recovery as possible. It's also excellent she can still brush her teeth herself etc., a sign that the dementia also has not progressed too badly yet. (It can be very slow, or on the other hand, very quick. (With one friend it happened overnight - one day, everything was normal, the next full-blown dementia and he couldn't do anything for himself any more.) It's a good thing you know your mum so well and never gave up on her and let yourself be influenced by anyone.

All strength to you Windy! Always thinking of you both.

Thanks for your concern Nexter. I'm sorry to hear about your connectivity problems. In these times, that’s a major problem. I frequently wonder how I and others functioned without cell phones, computers, etc.

Now for an update on my mom. Unfortunately, she’s run into some problems since my last post. I noticed a bit of difficulty when she was eating, drinking, and brushing her teeth on her own when I last posted.

Since then, she’s been downgraded to 2 days a week instead of 3 visits which are good, but she’s lost almost all of her dexterity, and her wrist is limp. I put braces on both hands to support her wrists during her waking hours and remove them at bedtime. I have to help her hold a cup while she drinks, hold her hand while she brushes her teeth, and I have to feed her because she cannot hold cutlery. Periodically I exercise her arm in hopes of fixing the problem because I noticed that a lot of muscle between her neck and shoulder have severely atrophied. She cannot hold her arm in place, and can barely lift it.

However, if she gets in one of her moods and doesn’t want me to move her arm or manipulate her fingers, she’s almost as strong as I am! I cannot open her hand, or move her arms unless I come close to breaking them! She’s as strong as an ox when she wants to be!

Another issue I’ve been dealing with is her bed sores. Because of her slight frame and being bedridden, it’s very difficult to prevent it. A new one just popped up on her “good hip” a few days ago. The wound team is scheduled to come out in a few more days. I noticed it the day after they left. It had a covering to prevent a wound, but over time, a hole wore into it, and I saw that the skin underneath was gone. I used some items I have and covered them. I called it in and was told that the nurse has to assess it first before the wound team makes an unscheduled visit. He arrived for his scheduled visit the next day and said that the wound team isn’t coming until their scheduled visit.

He removed the covering I put on it and replaced it with something else. I then reinforced it with several special clear plastic coverings that are designed to keep bandages in place and sterile.

So for now, those are the main things I’ve been dealing with concerning my mom. But, my biggest concern is trying to figure out how to increase her weight. It isn’t easy because she isn’t a big eater, and I have to be careful not to make her feel full because she’ll refuse to eat any food for several hours. The only things saving me right now are Boost or Ensure 3x per day. They increase her caloric intake.

I just bought some white bread (because wheat or other bread causes problems with colitis sufferers) and I'll serve it with peanut butter to increase her caloric intake when I give her Boost or Ensure to drink between breakfast and lunch. I don't know if she'll eat it, but I have to try what I can to help resolve her weight issue without causing harm.

Well, my connectivity problems are half resolved by now, it's sort of manageable but giving issues with my VPN when I first connect to the router, though I have found a kludge to get around it. It's all due to this stupid (it really is!) switch of land telephone lines to IP and the new 'super speed' 1Gb+ routers. Only complete morons would move everything to the internet and put all eggs into one basket. If the ISP's network goes down - not unknown to happen! - or worse the whole internet came down while at the same time the whole cell phone system went down, there'd be zero communications! As a species, humans really are far from the brightest candle on the cake! Personally, I managed just fine before cell phones came along and only adopted a very simple one for calls and sms texts only about ten yours ago and sticking with that, rarely needing to use it. And in many ways, life was far better before personal computers came along, too. [/rant]

I'm so sorry to read of your mother's added problems Windy. That really is sad. I can't help wondering if the problems of control of movement in her arm and the atrophy of the muscles could perhaps be due to an unnoticed mini stroke or even several? But OTOH, the strength your mother shows sometimes would seem to speak against that.

Pressure sores are a terrible problem. I permanently have them myself, mainly on and around my buttocks and also on the hips, basically due to my being wheelchair dependent nowadays and always sleeping on my sides. Quite frequently, one or two spots open up but the wife takes good care of them and they heal up again. I hope the pressure sore on your mother's hip heals up quickly, but then I'm sure that with your excellent and devoted care it will, Windy.

You're nothing if not persistent, too, Windy, and your efforts sound excellent in trying to keep your mum's calorific intake up. Peanut butter is further beneficial in providing protein and a range of minerals. (It's also given to severely under- and mal-nourished children as well as adults but I'm sure you knew that anyway.)

Anyway, I really wish you every success in all your endeavours with your dear mother, Windy, and I find myself thinking of the two of you daily.

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and Happy New Year. I haven’t been on for a while due to the chaos that has been going on.

In the bedroom next to mine, part of the ceiling collapsed due to a leaking PVC pipe coming from the AC unit. My brother was there only a couple of days prior but left several days earlier than planned. Being a spare bedroom, I rarely go in there. So unbeknownst to me, it was leaking for at least 10 days. I know this because of what happened one night at about 12.

I heard a crashing sound that appeared to come from that room. I immediately jumped up out of bed while retrieving my firearm, and opened the door within 10 seconds of hearing the sound. The room was very dark. I immediately looked at the window to check for glass. I noticed the blinds were not disturbed and there was no sign of glass or anyone in the room.

Because there isn’t an overhead light in that room, the light switch by the door obviously won’t work. There is only a small lamp on the nightstand by the bed next to the window. So after quickly realizing that no one had broken the window, I immediately went to my mom’s bed and checked her out, then through the house, and then outside to make sure no one was trying to break into the house.

It wasn’t until 10 days after that incident that I started smelling the strong odor of mold. For 4 days I kept wondering where the smell was coming from and my allergies started to give me hell, my chest was hurting, and I felt unwell. I finally opened the door (in daylight) to the spare room and was taken aback when I saw a big hole in the ceiling, the ceiling laying on the bed, the carpet totally soaked, the bed totally soaked, and mold on the wall, the bed, and carpet.

I contacted the AC company but they didn't respond for more than a week. During that time, the mold was getting worse. I had to purchase several bottles of special mold remover, a sprayer, a full-body hazmat suit, goggles, and a respirator to do it myself. It did remove the overpowering odor of the mold, but it was much worse than I imagined. Much of it was hidden behind the bed and furniture several inches high along the baseboard and made its way into my room which was also hidden. Mold hates light!

Eventually, the AC company took responsibility and a remediation team had to come in to get rid of the humidity, (it was so high that the door wouldn't close properly) run a dehumidifier, an air scrubber, and remove part of the ceiling, drywall, insulation, and carpet. That was months ago and both rooms are still in that state. Finally! I was contacted today and someone will be coming on Mon to assess what needs to be done.

Besides all of that, I was bitten by my mom severely. I thought that I was going to lose my finger! Both my vehicles have issues, and a host of other things. One of my vehicles is an old pickup with manual windows. The window on the driver's side fell inside the door, and with my wonderful luck, it rained heavily the next day. I noticed that the dome light was on even though the door was closed and the switch was in the "Off" position. I immediately disconnected the battery to avoid a short, and fire. I had to remove the battery because the battery drained after sitting too long without being started. I've been too busy to put it back after charging it. I might have to charge it again LOL. It’s been a week since I charged the battery.

On a good note, 2 of the 4 wounds on my mom have healed. The wound team credited me for that. They said that they wish more than half of the nurses they train did as well as I have. They gave me the green light to do her advanced wound care after seeing how I treated her wounds. As far as I know, they haven't done that with any of their other clients.

I won’t bother to get into all of the other things that happened since my last post. I’m just trying to hang in there.

Hi Windy, good to see your mother's been improving, you deserve a medal! Sorry to read of the bitten finger, makes one virtually feel that pain.

Also sorry to read about the leak and collapsed ceiling - but at least nobody's got hurt. Hope it's all fixed and forgotten now and no trace of mold remains. Can be dangerous stuff, mold from damp, especially the black variety. Very hard to get rid of.

Sorry about late reply. First I was busy as hell, and the last two weeks almost now I've been battling a cold and a severe bladder chill due to the flat below having gone on holiday and leaving all the bloody windows open, with what for this part of the country are extremely cold conditions. Could bitch-slap that cow for weeks on end!

Got to rest for now. Keep on hanging in there Windy and best wishes for a happier New Year.

Sorry, I took so long to reply. I’ve been extremely busy. I hope that you've gotten over your cold and are better now.


Thanks. The nurse, wound team, social worker, and other medical personnel who regularly see my mom all said the same thing.

I was going to work on my vehicles today, (change the oil on one, put the window back in on the other one, and see if the window will work without replacing the plastic window guides) but it began to rain. I might have to replace them to prevent the window from jumping off the track again. Unfortunately, because it's an old truck, the guides are special order. The battery I mentioned in the previous post on that old truck went bad and I had to replace it. Fortunately, it was still under warranty, and I received a new one free of charge. I'm glad I purchased the more expensive version.

The junkyard is going to send a part via mail tomorrow for my other vehicle. It would cost more in gas to get it than the shipping fee, plus wear & tear on the vehicle as it’s about a 2-hour drive one way.

The 2nd phase of repairs to the rooms still hasn’t started! They were supposed to start last week, but the AC company hadn’t contacted the repair company since the estimates were sent to them.

Now for some good news. My mom’s UTI is finally gone. It's been about 5 days since her last pill. I hope it never returns. I was a bit worried it wasn't cured because she destroyed the last one by biting it. She was in one of those unfortunate moods. The doctor prescribed a strong 3-day dose of an antibiotic. It’s been a problem since the day of her surgery 16 months ago. Because she has dementia, a UTI makes her behave erratically, hence the reason she bit me. It appears that the probiotics I began giving her a couple of months ago greatly aided in getting rid of it and keeping it from returning. All the other times she was given an antibiotic, it came back within a few days.

What a bummer re: your vehicular situation. But at least you got the replacement battery under warranty.

Hope the room repairs get sorted quickly now - not nice having to wait for that.

Glad your mother's UTI's gone now at last. Very unpleasant business, UTIs. Can even cause dementia-like symptoms when someone affected doesn't even have dementia. Anyway, hope it doesn't happen again, the poor good lady surely has been suffering enough.

Sorry to be so tardy and brief, but still busy as hell and very limited time online as still sick with that ghastly chill.